If someone ever tells you that you are useless, remember that at one time you were the strongest, fastest little sperm out of millions!
Be quiet or I'll light the fuse on your tampon
Did you know that your nipples are lined up with your earlobes? Bet you're checking now :)
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn't talking about sneezing.
Got arrested for opening the cop's zipper. Apparently I misunderstood the meaning of "Please blow Ma'am"
What do men have in their pants that is 6 inches, has a head on it, and women like to blow it?
Answer: A $20 dollar bill
I hate to break it to you, but cooties do exist...It's just when you grow up they're called STD's
I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
For sitting on Pinocchio's face and saying, "Lie to me" "Tell the Truth"
Men are the best cooks; because wit 2 nuts 1 sausage n a little bit of milk she can fill a woman tummy for 9 months!
What does Viagra and Disneyland have in common.??
They both make you stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride.
Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys? Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips ;)
Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!"
What does a G-spot, a woman's Birthday and a urinal have in common? Men seem to miss all three!
A blow-job is the only job in the world that can't be included in your resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
A husband and wife are watching TV. The husband says "I can't decide between golf and porn." The wife says "Choose porn, you already know how to golf."
Husband says to wife "Why are you reading a recipe book if you can't cook?"
Wife says to husband ''Why do you watch porn?''
No comments:
Post a Comment